I’m an extremely insecure, extremely flawed individual. Being insecure is one of those things we think only happens to us and never to anyone else. We don’t think the pretty girl on the front of Vogue magazine gets insecure because why would she?
We feel hollow and alone in our insecurity which causes us to feel more insecure and more lonely. I just want to put it out there with hopes that I’ll receive some solace and comfort from other people out there who understand what it’s like to feel alone. Some solace in knowing that I’m not alone. Have you ever been told to smile, or told you shouldn’t be insecure because of this, that and the other? Have you ever felt like someone was making light of your insecurities or of the way you feel because your circumstances are different from their own?
There are many times where my insecurities land me in hot water with the ones around me. Not because I’m openly or blatantly throwing them in anyone’s face, but because my admittance to my own insecurities when they touch on theirs is out of place in their eyes. When I agree with the people around me it’s in hopes we can have an honest conversation, in hopes that I may not feel alone in my self-doubt and occasional lack of confidence, but many times I get an eye roll and a “Well you shouldn’t feel that way.”
I don’t like it when people tell me what I should and should not feel because it’s placing boundaries on my feelings. It’s placing limitations on my emotions and putting me in this little box that has nothing to do with me but everything to do with the beliefs and ideas of other people.
I’ve talked about how I’m dealing with depression and anxiety and how I’m eat ing healthy food as a way to combat these emotions. I deal with fear on a daily basis which is tied to my insecurities and those are the two things that will make it impossible for me to be successful.
I hope we can remember that we are the only ones who can change our fate. We are the only ones who can complete ourselves. Those new shoes, that new haircut, that guy or girl, that promotion at work…those are all things that distract us from what’s real. The truth is we are what we love and not what loves us.
So do you love yourself?
That’s something I’m working on every single day.